I was talking with my husband this week about microaggressions and explaining to him what this concept looks like and he brought to my attention a moment when he experienced a microaggression with a former co-worker. He reminded me of the conversation he had with his friend (whom is a young, white, southern male whose father was in the military) a long time ago. He said that him and his friend were in Publix together and his friend made the comment, "You know how they say black people love fried chicken...that's how I feel about mashed potatoes." I asked my husband what his reaction was and he said he laughed it off. He explained that he laughed it off because with this particular friend, he didn't expect him to realize the comment he had just made was offensive.
After reviewing resources and completing various assignments on microaggressions, I believe some incidents of microaggressions can be considered "innocent ignorance". In the situation with my husband and his friend, I do not believe his friend would intentionally make such a racial comment and not correct himself or apologize for it. I believe all races make comments about other races all the time. But, at the end of the day, it is all about perception. My husband did not PERCEIVE his friend as being a racist, bias, prejudice, or stereotypical when he made his comment and therefore was not offended. Sometimes, we all unconsciously say things that can be received as hurtful and/or offensive but mean no harm by them.
I do question if microaggressions have to deal primarily with one’s perception of the message received or if such infractions of social behavior exist because certain individuals are still trying to coexist in a dominant culture? I ask myself, if this is the root of microaggressions? Is it that the “dominant culture” still has not fully accepted the existence of people of color, gay/lesbian, women, and other individuals with social identities that vary from those in the dominant culture? In this recognition, I know it is profoundly complicated to look at an individual in an insulting way but feel slighted if one’s perception of me is offensive.
What do you think?
Monique,
ReplyDeleteIt doesn't sound like your husband's friend meant any harm but it could be offensive to members of the black community. I think that micro aggressions are the roots to discrimination because sometimes the individuals aren't fully conscious that they are stereotyping. I enjoyed reading your post.
Salesha
Monique,
ReplyDeleteGreat post, it does not sound like your husbands friend meant any harm from he said. however, I can see where some people may take it offensively.
melissa