The stressor that I have FULLY experienced as a child would be disease. When I was 14 months old, I was diagnosed with having severe asthma. From 14 months old through my 17th birthday, I had been hospitalized 49 times and on life-support 4 times due to asthma and asthma attacks. I have what is considered emotional and allergy triggered asthma. My triggers are laughing too much, sneezing too much, coughing too much; if I get too hot; if I am stressed; if the temperature changes drastically; if I am around too much smoke, perfume, or any other exaggerated smell. So one can only imagine during those teenage and early adolescent years, with hormones, my asthma was triggered a lot. But in that moment, when your experiencing a life threatening condition such as an asthma attack, its hard to think about anything but trying to breath.
I look at those instances in my life as just a part of my life. I don't feel bad about, I don't wish my life were different; I actually feel that going through this disease as child made me stronger as a mother. Certain things I have dealt with as an adult, a woman, and a single mother, I feel I have been able to quickly bounce back from due to what I went through as a child with my asthma. I believe my sister was more affected by this disease than I was. Of course, I wasn't able to do certain things, go certain places because my asthma is so easily triggered but my sister was more emotionally affected.
Whenever I had an asthma attack, I would spend a week or two in the hospital and my mother never left my side. So, my sister would be left home with my dad and she missed out on having her mother during those moments. I don't think she ever had that void of missing her mother filled during her adolescent and adult years.
In India, scientists conducted a study of life stress in children with psychiatric disorders. The conclusion to this study found that "...Children with hyperkinetic syndrom/conduct disorder encountered maximum stress0r the last one year as compared to all other diagnoses. Within each diagnostic group further analyses of age and stress revealed that among the neurotic and emotionally disturbed children there was maximum stress in 4-7 years olds. Among special symptoms group it was older children (12-14 yrs) who encountered maximum stress, and the children with hyperkinesis/conduct disorder experienced uniformly high stress in the last one year across all ages. This data through small for statistical analyses and reliable conclusions, throws light on the possibility of relationship between stress and diagnosis." http://easap.asia/journal_file/9301_P28-38.pdf
With the cultural background in India, "disability is still viewed in terms of a “tragedy” with a “better dead than disabled” approach, the idea being that it is not possible for disabled people to be happy or enjoy a good quality of life. Cultural beliefs about disability play an important role in determining the way in which the family perceives disability and the kind of measures it takes for prevention, treatment and rehabilitation (12). Studies report that parental expectations from their disabled child were mostly negative and unrealistic". For this country, "There is evidence in the recent research that has shown that stress need not be an inevitable consequence in a family with a child with a disability...it has been proposed that positive perceptions may assist us to cope better with the traumatic and stressful events (24). Cognitive adaptation model of responses to threatening events posits that we attempt to adapt to threatening events by searching for meaning, trying to gain mastery, and enhancing the self. A key mechanism by which this adaptation is achieved is termed as cognitive illusions (24, 25). When these illusions are challenged, different perceptions will be generated in order to maintain meaning, mastery, and/or the self-system. Setting achievable goals and engaging in problem-focused coping in order to achieve them, leads to feeling of control and mastery." http://www.autism-india.org/NS_positive_perceptions.pdf
This "positive perception" should be a universal approach to coping with stress or at least part of the foundation created to cope with stressful life events.
References
Malhotra, S. J.H.K.C Pysch. Study of Life Stress in Children with Psychiatric Disorders in India, 3, 28-38. Retrieved June 1, 2014, from http://easap.asia/journal_file/9301_P28-38.pdf
Gupta, A. POSITIVE PERCEPTIONS IN PARENTS OF CHILDREN WITH DISABILITIES. Asia Pacific Disability Rehabilitation Journal, 15, 22-35. Retrieved June 1, 2014, from http://www.autism-india.org/NS_positive_perceptions.pdf
Wow, Monique. Such an inspiring story! I developed asthma when I was pregnant with my 3rd child. I had never had it before and was really scared to death because I was so sick, coughing violently, very short of breath. I put off going to the doctor for too long because I was also afraid of taking medicine because of my pregnancy (dumb, I know). By the time I went to the doctor I convinced I had lung cancer and was going to die! I had occasional bouts of it for the next few years, but haven't had a problem in a very long time. I can't imagine living with that for a whole childhood - and my case wasn't nearly as severe as yours. Good for you for your positive attitude!
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